


I'm sorry, Jean

by snk_trash



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5212745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snk_trash/pseuds/snk_trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is perfect through Marco's eyes. Until he walks in on Jean and everything changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm sorry, Jean

Marco finally closed his mouth after he had been gasping Jean’s name over and over for the past hour. He could feel Jean bite his neck, his arm well everywhere he could feel the gently kisses against his soft skin.

There they where, naked on Marco’s bed under the cover all cuddly. He kissed Jean’s cheek and lay down his head on his arm so near that he could hear Jean’s soft and slow breathing. He felt his pulse raise when Jean kissed him and say the words he had been waiting for, “ I love you, Marco.”

Of course he wanted to say it back, he wanted to say it the first date but that would be embarrassing for himself what he thought. But now when he wanted to say it he found it a bit difficult, he tried and he think he got it right. “ I you love too” This was his second time with Jean in a bed and second time ever. He had never said those three words before, he messed up and didn’t realize it at first.

Jean laughed, “ You are too sweet when you mess the words up.” He hugged him tighter.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” He blushed when he realized his little mistake even if Jean can’t see the face turned away from his. 

“As much as I want to stay in bed with you all day long, I’m afraid I can’t do that today.” Jean had said that with no words about it from Marco but he knew what was going on inside his head.

What did he mean by that? Does he not want to spend the whole day with me? Marco was glad Jean couldn’t see his face expression right now, he thought he almost would start to cry for one second. Luckily he did not start to cry but he couldn’t say much clear words to him. “Jean…. Please..”

Marco have had some bad relationships before, Jean knew that and he loved Marco, he really did. The problem was that he also loved someone else. Someone that no one would ever figure out who it was with their relationship to each other. “I’m sorry Marco, I’m helping a friend with their school work today.” 

Of course he understood that Jean really had to go but he didn’t want that, even if he would let him he would be sad and stay in bed alone. “When do you have to go?” He sighs as he says the few words he could say clear without his voice cracking.

Jean started to get up from the bed to get dressed. “I was supposed to be there for five minutes ago. I am truly sorry Marco.” He kisses Marco before he walks out of the room half naked still.

Marco could hear the door slam downstairs as he is left alone in his bed. He wants to send a text to Jean but that would just seem like he is desperate. Maybe he was but he certainly wouldn’t show Jean that, at least not yet. They had only been together for three months, he had have some really bad relationship before but he trusted Jean and gave him his whole heart in his hands. Some people find it hard to believe and some people just think it is stupid of him but he can’t lie to Jean or escape the truth when he is all alone, have to think of his feelings and all. Since he had have some fucked up relationships before he had a hard time trusting people especially Jean. Even if Jean made him feel better when he was around, but only if they where together alone. The trust Marco gave to Jean, he never did that to anyone else. He realized he had to get out of bed and stop thinking about Jean, even if his plan was to not talk to him all day he send a text about lunch time saying “Heyy, Jean it is me. I just wanted to say that I miss you… -MB” It seemed a little bit desperate but he wanted to tell him.

It took quite some time for Marco to get a reply, but when he finally got it he threw himself over his phone. “Marco, I was at your place for three hours ago. –JK” He didn’t got a long response, not even anything about Jean missing him. Did Jean not miss him? He thought it a bit strange but still he thought it was perfectly normal.

It had been slightly over a week since Marco heard anything from Jean. It was killing him that he hadn’t got even one message from him. It was now fall, it had already started to get really cold. Right when he thought of Jean and saying his names a few times he got a message from him. Not long, but it was something at least. “Hey, babe I need to see  you. –JK” He didn’t know when, he didn’t say that. He took for granted that he meant today, at none. He was still not so sure that this was what Jean had meant, but he wanted to surprise him. He took all his things and started to walk to his house, he walked through the park since it was a shortcut at the park bench he saw at his surprise, Jean. But he wasn’t alone, he had company He couldn’t tell who it was but he walked up to them. He couldn’t walk further or more like he didn’t want to walk further after he saw it was Eren, he was ten meters behind to see them perfectly. He could feel the wind blowing in his short hair he could see it did the same to Eren’s, he could see Jean place a gently and soft touch on Eren’s hand, moving slowly up to his cheek and placed a soft and gently kiss to it. He could hear Eren laughing at it and then kiss Jean right on the lips. Was the text not meant for him? He could feel the tears breaking out behind his eyelid, he felt the first tear run down his cheek, it was cold and heartless. Heartless like the betrayed he just saw, he wanted to run away as fast as he could but he wasn’t able to move anything. It was like he had been a part of the ground. He whispered his name in the air slowly “Jean…” It was quiet but the air lifted it up all the way to Jean, He looked up and could see Marco stand there, crying. With the wind that came from no where, Marco got the strength to leave, or more like run away from there. 

Jean ran after him, leaving Eren all alone there. Luckily Jean was fast, so he got up the speed to stop Marco from going. “Marco, please listen to me.” Jean made him stop walking but he could see the tears escaping from his eyes. The eyes Jean once used to look into and see hope, happiness was now gone. He could see deepness, coldness like a black hole, not wanting to stop it just went on and on. It was like for every second he looked into them, more and more of his soul disappeared. Marco did not want to stick around hearing what Jean had to say, he had said enough and showed what he wanted enough. He didn’t say anything to Jean, he just left. Walking very fast, almost running he didn’t want Jean to get near him again. He was so sad, he was so angry. He felt horrible for both trusting Jean and for letting himself get feelings after just three months.

When he got home he sat down in his room on the floor in the right corner, so far in his room he could get. What most people don’t know about Marco is that he had felt bad for a long time, the only person who knew was Jean. Jean, the person he loved. He was the only one who knew what would make Marco feel better. He grabbed the knife under his bed where he had hidden it, started to scratch at his wrist two times and the third he pressed it in real hard. He could see someone in the door, was it? It was Jean, he had come back to him.

Jean ran to him when he saw the bloody knife dropped to the floor, he ran to him and hold him in his arms. He started to cry, after all he loved that boy, he kissed his head, his hands and his lips. ”Marco please don’t leave me like this! Please stay strong like I know you can!” He prayed for god that he would make it.

Marco took a slow breathe, looked him in the eyes. ”I’m sorry, Jean. I love….” He stopped talking, his eyes closed and his head fell to the side. 

Marco was now dead, all this time they had been friends and then they started going out. ”Marco….” Jean stopped talking, holding him in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not hate me for the feels,


End file.
